ConTraDicTionZ….

ever get those days when you started everything nicely,but you had to say that one wrong word? and sopils the whole day?or night…

mine happened to be bananas..sigh.now i’m in trouble(this at two in the morning)…dun even now how to correct it."you’re not a banana,you’re chinese?!"would that help?!

anyway,drop the issue.i’m still at home,rotting…all that medical info seeping away.luckily,or unluckily for me…some aunt got diagnosed with SLE.systemic lupus erythremasus,or something close.heard its some incurable disease,anyone know much bout it?was wondering juz how much good the current medication does for such patients….or is it merely delaying the inevitable?

sigh..such questions…at two in the morning!!

argh…sleep la.

i’m finally  home.a great many things have changed.i feel its for the better….but anyways,its great to be back.wonder wat i’ll do tomorrow?i di promise mom i’d help her out at the shop..i wonder wat else i should do.

anyways,let me tell you…flying is super tiring.i dunno,we juz sit there and those nice ppl feed us with food and all,and we do nothing,but we juz get tired.(my entire trip took exactly 33 hours-a record!!)can someone explain this?and oh,i’ve got goodies…heheheh.

but now i stink.and the jet lag is killing me.its three and i’m still wide awake.think i’ll watch a movie…yup.so nitez ya all!!hehehe…

and i’m glad to be home.

“i have called you friends”John 15:15

god sure works quick…i was wondering bout this issue,and some friends did too.and then i found this daily bread book thing that talks about friendship. ilove how it begins…

“this word friend doesn’t mean a casual acquaintance,but a close trusted relationship.It refers to a king’s inner circle.In a royal courts the servants must keep their distance;but the inner circle enjoys:-close contact;direct access;confidential information”

but how do i get others to understand that this is how i feel? at least i understand now that everything is fine now….
i’ll dream on this again,and maybe read more..
till then.

the heat here is unpredictable.ten minutes ago,it was raining like a monsoon just struck..now its shining so brightly,its blinding…wat’s going on?!
a taxi driver once tried to describe the crimean weather…i quote”Crimea weather is like the whore,prostitute(he said something in russian,but i haven’t learnt that yet),you never know wat its gonna give you.”cool!!!wat i’m hopin now is maybe i’ll get to see snow soon.i’ve heard it snows in summer.now how cool is that?!
oh,btw,physics was a total bummer.it was nothing i expected,but i still survived…i wonder whether bio is gonna be as interesting!helminths and all those worms.fortunately my teacher loves sarawak,so we have something in common to discuss about,how those worms taste like in our mouths!!
but that’s going off,again.so now its shining bright,maybe i’ll go to the park again tonight.it’ll probably be cool enough again.seems like a daily routine huh?its the exams.they give you so much time,cos the classes are off!!Hooray?!we’re bored actually.sigh..

(now i remembered why i started with the blog again..hehe.)anyways,to all at home,miss ya and i’m coming home soon.jhheheh.

alrighty then.enough with the anger show,tomorrow’s physic’s exam.weirdly,i’m not freaked out.that’s a bad sign,if you ask me. My momma used to say when you’re too calm,you’ve got an empty head.then again,maybe i just have GOD.

hmmm….i wonder how things are doing in m’sia?ppl tell me to forget bout things till exams are over,but know wat?wat’s the whole point for exams when the big picture isn’t even there?its like sayin,take the test,then we’ll decide if all the trouble you went through meant anything…SURE,its the experience that counts!!

so,anymore ministers sacrificed themselves yet?or did that one guy turn everyone off?politicians.the most expressive always get the backside of things.our rights of freedom of speech is so obvious now,ain’t it?and we thought s’pore was bad!!heck,at least they ppl have a speakers’ corner somewhere.

wish i knew more bout home…cos its not pretty here.i heard lors of friends are on the expel list-they skipped exams,hoping for a second attempt but rules changed. life ain’t one big piece of pie.we deserve this?hopefully not.see,the uni makes rules that can be passed in one day(resembling their country’s system of ruling,after all they are a very young country with little know-how of management.) that totally put so many ppl at a lost.why they do it?your guess is as good as mine.Backlash?anger?gaining back the racial quota so we’d get recognised again?hmmmm…..i’m thinking,this isn’t the first time they’ve done this.sounds familiar.oh,they did it last year too!and they year b4 as well…just that this year speculations are everywhere cos OUR gov’t played some games and thus their actions seemed like they’re returning the favour.

but enough said.i’m hungry.maybe i’ll go to the park and enjoy the view.its certainly much prettier than here.oh,and maybe i’ll remember bout that physics paper….

“They Don’t Care About Us”

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, aggravation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Bang bang, shot dead
Everybody’s gone mad

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Beat me, hate me
You can never break me
Will me, thrill me
You can never kill me
Jew me, Sue me
Everybody do me
Kick me, kike me
Don’t you black or white me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my life
I have a wife and two children who love me
I am the victim of police brutality, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of hate
You’re rapin’ me of my pride
Oh, for God’s sake
I look to heaven to fulfill its prophecy…
Set me free

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
trepidation, speculation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
black man, black mail
Throw your brother in jail

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now
I’m tired of bein’ the victim of shame
They’re throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can’t believe this is the land from which I came
You know I do really hate to say it
The government don’t wanna see
But if Roosevelt was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be, no, no

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, speculation
Everybody litigation
Beat me, bash me
You can never trash me
Hit me, kick me
You can never get me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

Some things in life they just don’t wanna see
But if Martin Luther was livin’
He wouldn’t let this be

Skin head, dead head
Everybody gone bad
Situation, segregation
Everybody allegation
In the suite, on the news
Everybody dog food
Kick me, strike me
Don’t you wrong or right me

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us
All I wanna say is that
They don’t really care about us

i’ve been wondering a lot,do we call everyone we know a fren?are classmates automatically frens?do ppl you borrow or lend stuff to immediately become frens?are they frens only when its a two way thing,or do they become frens juz because you say you want to call them so?

i used to think,frens were so impt,that even the term carried much weight…so i had indirectly offended many ppl when they asked me if they were my frens.my frens,in my terms,are few and varied…countable on the digits on me.

but wat am i to do?do white lies really never hurt?or am i just weird?

strange ain’t it,when the mind wonders and turns on us,makes us think things we thought were always true…and then showing us we’re wrong without the answers.Stupid Brain.oh,btw,i could never remember those cortical motor analysers of the brain…i think my mind wouldn’t accept that my brain has areas and partitions instead of it being one complex entity not understandable to the person it controls.but that’s strayin from the issue…

so who are frens?i still dun know..maybe i’ll never know.maybe if i died,and looked down from heaven at my funeral,then i’d see who the frens are.i dunno.

maybe i’ll find out tomorrow………….